Tonight would be perfect, and yet, he couldn't. The right time wasn't during walks to the cafe, or watching a movie, or god forbid, on stream, he had always imagined it as a quiet and clear night, with cool air a blanket around his shaking frame.
He never did - never quite finding the right time. These thoughts had surfaced multiple times, Tommy had been far from mentally healthy prior to tonight, but he was always comforted by the thought that he could go tell Wilbur. He could finally stop fucking up, finally stop annoying everyone. Snot was running down his nose, just as quickly as the tears were falling, and he rubbed his face once again, eyes locking on the pills in front of him. He thought, privately, that if he lost Wilbur, he would lose himself, and he was now losing both in the space of five minutes. He had lost a lot of friends, and he hadn't minded because eventually he would find the people meant for him, but he couldn't bear to lose Wilbur. Because Tommy had done something wrong yet again, couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut, and now he was paying the price. Tommy was prepared to lose it all if Wilbur so asked, had moved across the country to be close to him, and all for nothing. Tommy had lost a lot of friends over his life, had jumped from friend group to friend group until he finally found one he felt safe in, he thought he would keep forever. Glad to see you're taking this seriously.
Why else would Wilbur be so angry at him? To be fair, he could be reading the situation completely wrong, Wilbur hadn't used the tone indicators, but it sounded like he was pissed off. The bile claws at his throat at the thought, and tears spring to his eyes, but there really can't be any better explanation. "I think… I'm a bad person," he whispers into the nothingness, silence a static presence around his ears, darkness omnipotent in his vision.
0 kommentar(er)
